Her name was Isha, she was a patient of brain tumour stage IV and I was her nurse. Every day she was moving a step closer to death but instead of getting cocky or sad she was happy and content, she used to say ” I have lived my life and have no regrets, I'm ready to go.” Her calmness always strikes me how could a person be so calm? When you have no one around your deathbed. She knew about my irritation so one day when I was checking her pulse, she said you will never understand me until you know what I have been through. It was at that moment I understand her sufferings, pain and loneliness. So every day after my shift I sat beside her and listened to her story of braveness, not giving up and believing in yourself.
“He was my once upon a time”, she said. The moment I met him I knew something is different, something sparked inside me. Not knowing what this journey holds I decided to go on….. At first, it was only a sweet, melody friendship… Months passed, years passed….. Then one day he said the most beautiful, magical three words that I never expected to hear from anyone because I was determined that Love is a state of mind….
Like all love stories, it was the same filled with moments of happiness, smiling alone, listening to love songs which all of the sudden start making sense… And the end was the same too, resulting in broken hearts.
I was never able to heal my heart and myself, the moments were stuck with me, and it was like that time was moving forward and I was struck in one motion… Unable to move forward, all the feelings turned into numbness.
They say time heals everything, but I don’t believe in it, I believe time doesn’t heal anything it is us who decided to step forward with the emptiness within us, hoping one day someone will fill those empty holes within us.
My emptiness was filled by my husband, at least that’s what I thought in beginning, but soon that converted into beating, crying, apologizing I accepted all this as my fate and made comprised with my current situation.
It was cancer that made me a fighter; I realized my life is ending so y doesn’t make it worth living…. So I put my entire act together and got divorced, against every one blessing. People can never understand your pain until they go through the same pain…
I paid a heavy price for my courage; everyone left me even my own family, according to them I bought shame to the family and society. The truth is that I was never a person who lived by society rules…
As today I lie on my deathbed alone, still, I vet no regrets because I always believe in living in moments and that’s what I did my whole life…
After uttering those words she passed away. I didn’t feel sad for her.
I will always pray for her because she had given me something that I lost a long time ago……
